I’ve made a fair share of websites in my day—big, small, nice, and a bunch of not-so-nice ones as well. And even though none have been a cakewalk because of my inner conflicts of creativity vs. expectations, this place I’m right now, has been the hardest to navigate. Making a website for myself—a person who ‘makes websites & stuff’—is kind of like making my own home, on the web.
Because a personal website means a lot of things to me, I often find myself going through this frustrating cycle:
- Unbounded excitement
- Overflow of ideas and thoughts
- Raise the bar astronomically high without even putting pencil to paper
- Get overwhelmed by my own notions
- Waste too much time thinking, and not enough doing
- Get extremely resentful
- Make something sub-par and carry it around with an embarrassing caveat
- Make fake promises to myself that I’ll get it ‘next time’
Here’s hoping that I can break this cycle.
It’s a perfect vicious cycle of taking yourself (and your work) too seriously, so seriously that it ends up being counterproductive.
I think I need to detach myself from it a little bit, both for mine and my work’s sake: jot down some concrete goals; give myself a timeline (be my own client), and just get it fucking done with. Because each day that I put it off, it physically chips away a part of me and my self-esteem.
So, even though I have an insanely aspirational list of things I want to do with my site, let’s start with the most important and urgent aspects.
The nice part about a website is that it can be, and it should be, a living and breathing document. I can focus on the most pressing things at hand, and then keep pecking away to make it more complete, and representative of who I am.
Thanks for reading this, whoever you are.
If you found this delightfully weird, or weirdly delightful, I’d love to hear why: @helloprabhav